


Fighting Monsters

by thursdayknight



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Billy tries to help but he's bad at it, Fluff, M/M, Steve Harrington has panic attacks, Sweet, he learns though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-09 13:01:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20995220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thursdayknight/pseuds/thursdayknight
Summary: Steve has panic attacks and Billy is bad at dealing with them, but he tries.





	Fighting Monsters

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a little thing I wrote while panicking a bit myself and it made me feel better. :)

The first time it happens, Billy has no idea what to do. One minute, everything's fine, they're watching a movie at Steve's place then suddenly there's this big, howling dog on screen and next to him, Steve tenses up. 

"You - I - I just - I just - I can't."

Billy grabs the remote off the table and hits the pause button. 

"I just - I just - I just," Steve repeats like a record that's stuck. Only Billy's pretty sure kicking Steve won't have the same effect as kicking a record player. 

"I can't, I just can't, I can't," Steve says. It makes the hairs at the back of Billy's neck stand on end. 

"Steve, what the fuck?" 

Steve's staring straight ahead, looking at the TV screen like there's something still playing on it even though there definitely isn't.

"Steve." Billy snaps his fingers and Steve's eyes follow the movement but then he starts to shake, like actually, visibly shake. 

"I just, I just, I can't," Steve says again, like it means something, like it means everything. Like it's a code Billy's supposed to crack that he's got no guide for. 

Billy has no idea what to do here, his instincts are always either start yelling or hit the problem until it goes away, and both of those are completely useless right now. 

"Steve, I don't know what to do here, you've got to help me out," Billy says. 

This, apparently, is the worst thing Billy could possibly have said because it has Steve turning towards him and shouting, "I can't!" 

"Okay," Billy says. He moves a little farther back on the couch, putting some distance between them, which is also the wrong thing to do because it makes Steve start to cry. 

It makes Billy want to hit something. Not Steve, just... something. 

"Maybe I should just go," Billy says, throwing his hands up. All he's done so far is make it worse, whatever this is, so it's probably for the best. 

This is yet again the wrong thing to say because Steve's face twists up as Billy gets to his feet. "No!" Steve shouts. 

"Okay, uh..." Billy's never felt more out of his depth in his life. 

"S-s-stay!" Steve hiccups. 

"Alright." Billy sits back down on the couch next to Steve, his knee brushing against Steve's leg. Sitting here like this, seeing Steve so clearly vulnerable makes his skin crawl. He's never wanted anyone to see him when he's hurt, even Steve, so the idea that Steve wants someone - wants him - here to witness this unravels him a little. 

He sits there, hands in his lap and twitching with the need to _ do something _ until Steve gets his shit together and they go back to the movie they were watching. 

The second time it happens they're driving home from the pool. They pass by a lady with a big, black shaggy dog with a big, toothy grin and Steve starts twitching. 

Billy speeds up, grateful that when he insisted on driving, Steve didn't fight him on it; Steve hasn't fought him over who's driving in months. Steve trusts him. 

_ Steve trusts him. _ The realization is entirely too sobering. 

"We'll be home soon," Billy says without thinking. He speeds up again. He's driving way over the speed limit and the only reason he cares if they get caught is because he's afraid of what that might do to Steve. Worse, what he might do to whoever pulls them over out of some stupid attempt at protecting Steve. 

He risks a quick glance at Steve and sees Steve's hands gripping his knees, knuckles white from the effort. Whatever this is, he can't protect Steve from it, much as he might want to. 

He gets Steve into the house just as the shaking starts getting really bad. He sets Steve down on the couch just as Steve starts babbling, "I- I can't, I can't, I can't," the same as last time. 

With no better ideas and everything in him screaming at him to _ do something, you idiot, _ Billy kneels down in front of Steve and kisses him senseless, pouring every emotion he has no words for into it. He hopes it's distracting. He hopes it's enough. 

If the tears streaming down Steve's face when he pulls away are any indication, it's not. 

This time he waits until Steve can speak again before asking, "Alright, what am I _ supposed _ to do here?" 

Steve winces. "You could talk to me?"

"You mean like I did before?" 

Steve frowns at him. "You could talk to me _ nicely._"

Billy raises an eyebrow at him. "What are you implying here, Steve?" 

"I'm implying nothing," Steve says, his chin held high and his tone all haughty. "I'm _ saying _ you're usually an ass." 

Billy can't help but smile. He's glad Steve's back. "Fine," he says. "I can be _ nice._ I can say _ nice _ things." He puts a truly ridiculous amount of emphasis on the word "nice" just to make Steve laugh. 

It works and Billy winds up laughing too.

The third time it happens there are no dogs in sight, they're just finishing the takeout they got for dinner on Steve's parents stupidly nice dining table because Steve insisted they use it when Steve gets that far off look in his eye Billy knows by know means something bad is about to happen. 

Billy feels his own chest tighten and begins looking around for what might have caused it, if there are any dogs in the yard or… or… or if maybe they got grease stains on the table? Steve's never cared too much about his parents' things but, who knows? 

Steve's fingers start twitching and the look on Steve's face melts into one of pure terror, like there's something he needs to be fighting right in front of him. Billy wishes this were a monster he could attack and kill, wishes he could do something - 

Then he remembers the last time this happened and Steve asking him to say nice things to him next time it happened so he decides that's what he's going to do. 

He just hopes he doesn't fuck it up like last time. Or the time before that. 

"Steve," he says, voice as gentle as he can make it. "Steve, it's okay." He pushes his chair back from the table and walks over to him. "I'm right here and you're safe and if there was a monster here, I'd kill it. I'd tear it's fucking head off and you'd help, if you wanted. Because you know I'd be there with you, right? We can deal with anything, I can deal with anything with you." 

He kneels down next to Steve and puts his hand over Steve's, stops his fingers on at least the one hand from twitching. Steve breathes out shakily and nods. It's fast enough Billy almost worries his head is going to fly off of his neck, but it's something. 

He clenches his other fist by his side and focuses on Steve, tries to ignore his own discomfort with the situation and the rawness of it all as he says, "It's okay, you're safe, I promise." 

Steve starts crying again and Billy feels rage start swirling inside of himself. Of course he still fucked this up and got it wrong. Again. Of fucking course he did.

But then Steve smiles this watery, goofy as hell smile and turns his hand over underneath Billy's to wedge their fingers together. "Th-th-thanks," he mumbles. "Thank you." 

Billy purses his lips and nods his head. "I meant it. I'd kill monsters for you, you know." 

Steve laughs. "I know."


End file.
